There is a song that I have fallen in love with. It is a beautiful song, sung by a beautiful voice, laced with soul impending lyrics. Today as it came through my Pandora while I was cleaning the house, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath and let the song wash over me. I knew which words of this song always washed away all worry and concern from my heart and I swayed with the music waiting for those lyrics to fill my soul. As I listened I was surprised when a different set of lyrics popped out at me. When I heard them I saw a picture in my head that painted the Lord's heart for us in a humorous and beautiful way. It was the one line in this verse that I had always passed over. The one line that I didn't feel like I needed to hear. But today, God tuned my ears to hear it.
Come out of hiding you're safe here with me.
You don't have to cover what I already see.
No need to be frightened by intimacy.
Just throw off your chains and come running to me.
(Steffany Gretzinger, Out of Hiding)
As I listened to that line I remembered this picture of my daughter.
She had been in her room taking a nap. When she came out she had this very obvious green marker across her face. I saw it. There was no hiding it from me. But she looked at me like there was nothing wrong, as though if she acted like nothing happened, I wouldn't be able to see it. When I asked her about it, she said she didn't do it. I could see into her little heart that she was worried about what I would say or do; she knew what she had done was wrong. I stood there touched by the humorous moment. Of course this poor choice wouldn't change my love for her! Yes, there would be a consequence- all poor choices should. That's how we learn, but I would never love her less. We had a little talk about being honest, even if we did something wrong. I told her that I would much rather her come to me and admit she had done something wrong than for her to lie to me about it. Granted she was only 3, but I was planting the seed about right choices.
Then I remembered this picture.
This was a little later. Based on the hair length I would think maybe 8 months to a year after the green marker? I remember this moment too. I was feeding my son in his nursery and I heard her in the bathroom. I called to her and asked her what she was doing. A few moments later she sheepishly walked into the room with a face like this. I looked at her and asked her what she was doing in the bathroom. I wanted to give her an opportunity to be honest. She stopped and thought for a moment, then said, "I look pretty mama?" I told her she did look pretty, but that she knew not to get into my make up. Again we had another little talk about making good choices, but I thanked her for being honest. Once she saw I wasn't mad, she puckered up and let her mistake become something beautiful. Clearly she didn't do it right. And no, she wasn't suppose to. But it became a moment I will treasure because I saw her chose to trust me and be honest. Her experience with me and the proof of my love allowed her to trust me just a little bit more.
As I remembered back to these two moments as those song lyrics played over me, I couldn't help but think of how our God sees us. He sees all of our mistakes. He sees all of our fears. He sees all of the feelings we have that we won't even admit to ourselves. And yet, we try to hide them from Him. We don't bring them to his feet and surrender them, admitting our mistakes and asking forgiveness. We stand before him with marker on our face so obvious and say, "I didn't do anything." How ridiculous are we? I remember looking at Lydia and thinking it was so funny that she would stand before me and lie when I could literally see it on her face. Picturing this made me realize how completely absurd it is for us to ever try to hide anything from God.
But then this idea went deeper into my soul. As humorous and sweet it was in that moment with my daughter (it was only washable marker after all), I think of the times that God isn't laughing at our covering. Instead He is broken. It's not green marker on our face, but it's scars or bondage. It's shame. It's depression. It's selfishness. It's excuses. It's fear. We stand before him with all of these things on display and look up at our Daddy and pretend like they aren't there. Or, we wont even look him in the eye. Maybe we avoid coming to His throne all together.
When will we learn that HE SEES it. We only exhaust ourselves trying to hide it. He looks at us and wants us so desperately to be honest and to lay it down. He wants us to acknowledge what He already sees and to chose to trust in His love. Friends, He sees it, but He loves you anyway. He looks at you with tender eyes and wants you to know His love is enough. Your mistakes, too, are like washable green marker. They can be erased by the tender hands of the Father, every time. Our flesh will forever battle this surrender. It's a part of our sinful nature, but as we experience His love we learn to trust it more. Just like my daughter was unwilling to admit the green marker, she was quicker to admit her mistake with the lipstick. And three years later I see even more of her heart trust me when she makes a mistake. She has experienced that admitting her mistakes won't change my love for her. That fact alone allows her heart to release her guard and know that she can tell me the truth.
As you begin to surrender the things you have been hiding, and you feel drowned in the heaviness of this world, hang onto the lyrics I was waiting for in the beginning:
Baby you're almost home now.
Please don't quit now.
You're almost home now to Me.
Heaven awaits, where our hearts will carry no shame or fear. Until then may we trust our creator evermore each day. He sees you, and He loves you.
Come out of hiding you're safe here with me.
You don't have to cover what I already see.
No need to be frightened by intimacy.
Just throw off your chains and come running to me.
(Steffany Gretzinger, Out of Hiding)
As I listened to that line I remembered this picture of my daughter.
Then I remembered this picture.
This was a little later. Based on the hair length I would think maybe 8 months to a year after the green marker? I remember this moment too. I was feeding my son in his nursery and I heard her in the bathroom. I called to her and asked her what she was doing. A few moments later she sheepishly walked into the room with a face like this. I looked at her and asked her what she was doing in the bathroom. I wanted to give her an opportunity to be honest. She stopped and thought for a moment, then said, "I look pretty mama?" I told her she did look pretty, but that she knew not to get into my make up. Again we had another little talk about making good choices, but I thanked her for being honest. Once she saw I wasn't mad, she puckered up and let her mistake become something beautiful. Clearly she didn't do it right. And no, she wasn't suppose to. But it became a moment I will treasure because I saw her chose to trust me and be honest. Her experience with me and the proof of my love allowed her to trust me just a little bit more.
As I remembered back to these two moments as those song lyrics played over me, I couldn't help but think of how our God sees us. He sees all of our mistakes. He sees all of our fears. He sees all of the feelings we have that we won't even admit to ourselves. And yet, we try to hide them from Him. We don't bring them to his feet and surrender them, admitting our mistakes and asking forgiveness. We stand before him with marker on our face so obvious and say, "I didn't do anything." How ridiculous are we? I remember looking at Lydia and thinking it was so funny that she would stand before me and lie when I could literally see it on her face. Picturing this made me realize how completely absurd it is for us to ever try to hide anything from God.
But then this idea went deeper into my soul. As humorous and sweet it was in that moment with my daughter (it was only washable marker after all), I think of the times that God isn't laughing at our covering. Instead He is broken. It's not green marker on our face, but it's scars or bondage. It's shame. It's depression. It's selfishness. It's excuses. It's fear. We stand before him with all of these things on display and look up at our Daddy and pretend like they aren't there. Or, we wont even look him in the eye. Maybe we avoid coming to His throne all together.
When will we learn that HE SEES it. We only exhaust ourselves trying to hide it. He looks at us and wants us so desperately to be honest and to lay it down. He wants us to acknowledge what He already sees and to chose to trust in His love. Friends, He sees it, but He loves you anyway. He looks at you with tender eyes and wants you to know His love is enough. Your mistakes, too, are like washable green marker. They can be erased by the tender hands of the Father, every time. Our flesh will forever battle this surrender. It's a part of our sinful nature, but as we experience His love we learn to trust it more. Just like my daughter was unwilling to admit the green marker, she was quicker to admit her mistake with the lipstick. And three years later I see even more of her heart trust me when she makes a mistake. She has experienced that admitting her mistakes won't change my love for her. That fact alone allows her heart to release her guard and know that she can tell me the truth.
As you begin to surrender the things you have been hiding, and you feel drowned in the heaviness of this world, hang onto the lyrics I was waiting for in the beginning:
Baby you're almost home now.
Please don't quit now.
You're almost home now to Me.
Heaven awaits, where our hearts will carry no shame or fear. Until then may we trust our creator evermore each day. He sees you, and He loves you.
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