As I await the arrival of my daughter, I find this almost foggy wall developed between me and her. Its a combination of it not really feeling real and not being able to imagine a relationship as deep as what I have with my son with another child. Add to that the fear of losing this child as I did the child last summer and it brings me into a whirlwind of emotions. Oh...probably add some hormones in the mix, too!
I reached out to my girlfriends in Christ last week and asked for prayer. Prayer for any distraction, fear, or hesitation the enemy has planted on my heart to be lifted. (Note: I could not be more grateful for these women in my life. As Woody on Toy Story Says: Moving buddy (or in this case friends in Chirst)...if you dont have one, get one!" Yes...Im well aware that I just quoted Toy Story.
Anyhoo...I was so grateful of their loving responses to my cry. Not one of them wrote me and said, "You have every right to feel the way you do. Its totally legit." Nope. They all called me out...reminded me of where my heart should be. THAT'S WHAT WE NEED PEOPLE! We need to be called out when we are failing. Comfort is not the best way to be a friend. Sometimes we need to be the accountability each other is desperate for. They may not be seeking it....but ultimatly they need it. Its a tough thing...I know. Even me, who believes STRONGLY in accountability through love, finds it difficult to call a friend out when they are struggling. But, true love does what is necessary not what is easiest.
On a side note, one of my dear friends responded to my email with this reference she heard at a baby shower this last weekend. It talks about how our children are not our own. They are the Lord's. I remember this being SO profound to me when I was pregnant with my son. I knew that he was God's child and that God had chosen my husband and I to raise him here on earth. I wanted nothing more than for God's will to be formed in his life...and that is still the desire of my heart. During the last weeks of my pregnancy, impatiently awaiting the arrival of my son, God spoke to me. He reminded me that if I ultimatly wanted HIS will to be done in my son's life, there will be times when I will need to step back. There will be times when what I think is right for him may not be what God thinks is right for him. As much as I love my son...Im not God. And in the moment he showed me that if I wanted His will to be done in my son's life no matter my view, it started with his birth. When and how. It also became very heavy to me that if I were to trust God COMPLETELY with his life, I needed to be in prayer over him. I needed to hand him to God every step of the way. To be connected with God in an intimate way so that I hear clearly His voice telling me what to do for my son.
Prayer, people. The most powerful tool we have. When we get to moments when nothing makes sense and our control is exhausted...prayer is our life line. These verses a friend shared with me help me to go through the entire day in prayer for my child. And, not just my son, but my daughter to. I may not be able to feel connected to her right now for various reasons, but if it is my hearts desire to be...I must pray. Pray for her life, whatever that may be.
Here are the verses that you can pray for your child through out the day...lifting them to the Lord in every moment of the day.
1. When they wake up: "Let the morning bring (child's name) word of your unfailing love, for she has put her trust in You. Show (her/him) the way (she/he) should go, for to you (he/she) lifts up her soul." (Adapted from Psalm 143:8)
2. When they are getting dressed: "Therefore, as God's chosen child, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Lord, help (him/her) bear with others and forgive whatever grievances (he/she) has against others. Help (him/her) forgive as the Lord forgave (him/her). And over all these virtues, help (him/her) put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." (Adapted from Colossians 3:12-14)
3. While they are eating: "Teach (child's name) the secret of being content in any and every situation whether well-fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. Teach (him/her) that (he/she) can do everything through him who gives (him/her) strength." (Adapted from Philippians 4:12-13)
4. When they go out of the house: "(Name of child), do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-His good, pleasing and perfect will." (Adapted from Romans 12:2)
5. While they are taking a bath: Lord, give (name of child) clean hands and a pure heart, and let (him/her) not lift (his/her) soul to an idol or swear by what is false. Let (him/her) receive blessing from the Lord and vindication from God (his/her) Savior. Let (him/her) be part of the generation of those who seek him, who seek your face, O God of Jacob. (Adapted from Psalm 24:4-6)
6. When they are going to bed: "The Lord Your God is with you; he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, be will rejoice over you with singing." (Zephaniah 3:17)
7. While they are sleeping: "I pray that (name of child) will do everything without complaining or arguing, so that he/she may become blameless and pure, a child of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which he/she shines like a star in the universe as he/she holds out the word of life-in order that he/she may boast on the day of Christ that he/she did not run or labor for nothing." (Adapted from Philippians 2:14-16)
