Intimacy with the Lord.
What does that mean? Its something I have always desired but am not sure Ive ever actually achieved it. Sure, Ive had moments, chapters of life even. But true intimacy with God....Im not sure.
A lot of spiritual growth/gift courses ask the question "What brings your heart bliss?" or "What are you passionate about." I think, along with others, one of the biggest passions on my heart is to influence people. To encourage people. To be a tool God can use to speak to people. The mere glimmer of an opportunity and Im off and running. That, I think, is where I lack in intimacy with God.
I have always been very sensitive to the spirit and have a strong sense of discernment. I have noticed, though, that Ive gotten almost too used to hearing the spirit. Ive begun to intervene. Its as if the Lord starts to speak to me and once I get the gist of what he is trying to say, I am off and running in my own mind. I say, "Oh, yes God! That's it!" and from there my mind begins filling in the pieces. Writing the rest of the story. Psalm 46:10 was written for me. "Be still and know that I am God." Oh....how hard that is for me to be still.
My mind NEVER shuts off. Its constantly going and going and going. Which is why, when the Lord reveals something to me, my mind takes it and runs with it. Im learning in my life right now that what I need to do is be still....and let him finish. Let HIM fill in ALL the pieces. Dont just let him plant the seed, but grow it in me as well. He may have equipped me with the ability to encourage others or share the spirit words with them....but its not my job to lay them out. Its His job and I have to ALLOW him to. Im learning that my lack of intimacy is due to this rushed presence.
If I can learn to be still......to let the Lord speak all he has to say......I think I could finally hear the word I long for.
Beloved.
Over the last couple months Ive read several great novels. Christian fiction. It was interesting to me how God spoke to each of these characters. It was soft, italicized, patient.....and He called them Beloved.
"Come to me, Beloved."
"You are clean, Beloved."
"Follow me, Beloved."
"You are worthy, Beloved."
I started picking up on this familiar term of endearment. It wasn't just one author, but several. Several authors who identified God with the same tender, loving, intimate presence. I realized, Ive never heard him call me beloved. Why not?
It's because of me. Because of the box I put him in and the few words I allow him to speak before Im off and running. My journey now is to be still.
To let him finish and share all he has to say to me. Maybe, if I can be still enough, his last word may be the ever awaited.....
Beloved.
Have you heard God call you beloved? Have you allowed yourself to be vulnerable enough to be so intimate with Him that you hear it? I think the Lord deeply desires to call all of us his.......beloved.
